Best man speech – jokes and ideas

Quotes, Jokes and Ideas for a Best Man’s Speech

You may also find our article on how how to structure a wedding speech useful. This also contains information on how to structure a best man’s speech.

We also have a range of example best man speeches that you can use, or if you are really pressed for time we even have a “fill in the blanks” that you can crib and pass off as your own.

• How to write a best man speech
• Fill in the blanks speech
• Example of a witty speech by Ryan Marshall

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Doing your duty you also find that your groom is starting to panic. Well we have also thought of that and have got a couple of pages specially for him.

• Fill in the blanks groom speech example
• Jokes and one liners for a Groom Speech

Best man Jokes and One liners

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw in his job and go to work in the brewery – George Nathan

Here’s to the groom, a man who keeps his head though he loses his heart.

I had to make sure that (grooms name) day went according to plan,
so I took it upon myself to check (grooms name) post. I need to tell (grooms name) that the carpet people cannot supply your carpet this weekend, but you will get your underfelt tonight!

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others might fail? A man who is beginning to distinguish himself amongst his peers and where none can say a bad word against him? Well, that’s enough about the best man. I’m here to talk about _____.

I can honestly say that in all the years I’ve known him, no one has ever questioned _____’s intelligence.
In fact, I’ve never heard anyone even mention it.

_____’s very classy. When we had an evening of music and drink in his house recently, I asked whether he had any Rachmaninoff. Gary replied he didn’t have any vodka, only beer.

I tell the people that on a night of recent revelry I asked the groom what he wanted to get from his marrage. He said “Well, I want to be a model husband. I want to be a model citizen.

And I want to be a model lover!” Being a naive chap I looked up “model” in the dictionary. It said “A small miniature replica of the real thing!”

To ____ and _______, may all their ups and downs be between the sheets.

He’s a prince, he’s a topper, he’s the King of the dance.
And he frightens the horses when he takes down his pants.

It is a woman’s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man’s to keep unmarried as long as he can – George Bernard Shaw

Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments
– Shakespeare

His designs were strictly honourable, as the saying is; that is, to rob a lady of her fortune by way of marriage – Henry Fielding
A happy bridesmaid makes a happy bride – Tennyson

There was an old party of Lyme
Who married three wives at a time/
When asked “Why the third?”
‘He replied “One’s absurd/
And bigamy, sir, is a crime!” – Cosmo Monkhouse (19c.)

It seemed to me pretty plain, that they had more of love than matrimony in them – Oliver Goldsmith (18c.)

There you are. We hope that you enjoy being the best man and good luck with the speech!

You may also find our article on how how to structure a wedding speech useful. This also contains information on how to structure a best man’s speech.

If you enjoyed that why not also check out the one liners for a wedding speech, bride speech, bride groom speech or father of the bride.