Eulogy for Mum

It is a difficult time when you lose a parent, and coming up with the words for a eulogy can be challenging. In this article, our readers draw from their tough time to help each other to form a few words, or many.

Answer thanks to Lizzy:

I used this Eulogy at my mum`s funeral – because it was fairly short – it was easier to be able to say, without breaking down. Maybe it would be useful for people to adapt here.

Mum, when we think of you,
sharing the days that we once knew
Chatting together in that same old way – It
seems like only yesterday
The hopes and dreams that we shared in the past
Not believing it wouldn’t last
And like a forgotten melody, your
laughter comes back to me.
Today, through a mist of tears
we recall our childhood years,
On how hard life was for you,
But your soldiered on through and through
And now it’s time to let you go,
To be with Dad – who loved you so

The Next response comes from Caroline: 

If you’ve come to this site as I did, following a google search on Eulogy for Mum, you’ll find it very helpful…. especially in your time of need.

I have typed what I wrote this evening, putting in off for 3 days, for my Mum’s funeral tomorrow morning at 10am (actually, this morning, in 9hrs time). I put it together with little snippets from here and other sites…but mostly words from me. If it helps you even the slightest, then I did some good.

Eulogy to Mum

It is hard for us to believe she’s gone, not just because she was so ill, nor because she was such a fighter – but because she was our Mum.

Most, if not all of you, will know that she was diagnosed with MS in February 1992, having had the symptoms since the previous year. Over the course of 17 years, she lost her balance, the feeling in her legs, then her arms and hands – progressively getting worse – and with it excruciating pain.

But in Feb 2005, after coming out of a coma following septicaemia, all her pain was gone – and she gained a new lease of life. I’m sure her carers would tell you that no matter what toils she faced, she’d greet them with a smile as they walked through her bedroom door, and tell them she was ‘great ‘ when asked how she was. How she always seemed to rise above her suffering, and make the most of the company, local news and events to celebrate.

Despite beating a bout of pneumonia in May last year, it returned in November and ultimately took her from us. But both Eileen and I were grateful to have been with her throughout the 2 months she had, right up to her last day. Mum was happy to have come home, and spend her last days with her family, familiar faces, but most of all her rock. Dad.

But I want to tell you more about Mum during her best years she was always busy when we were young.
– so house-proud; no sooner had she re-decorated the whole house, but she’d start at the first room again.
– a great cook, but a fabulous baker – I can still taste her lemon meringue pie!
– another love of hers was gardening. So many evenings after work, she’d be out on her kneeling pad with gloves and a trowel in her hand. There was always so much colour in our gardens, and always roses for Dad.

Which leads me on to a fantastic story I only heard for the first time since Mum passed.

One evening, when Mum was on her scooter, she had gone out into the garden. It was to be a surprise for her Sister Carmel, as she came to see her every evening after work. However, being out in her garden, she saw some weeds, and ever the avid gardener had to get rid of them. Well, the unthinkable happened. The scooter tipped as she leaned over to grab the offending greenery and out Mum tumbled, straight into the bushes.
When Carmel arrived, she could hear Mum shouting and obviously Carmel was surprised to find her lying there.
But I tell you about this as, Carmel remembers Mum laughing so and then the both of them giggling like children over the whole thing as Carmel managed to get her back into the seat.

And one more story again, come to light in the last few days.

Did you know that Mum had no less than 5 names?
– So many of you knew her as Anne, but her birth certificate shows Roseann – a name she came to use whenever admitted to hospital as she would always be asked her ‘full name’.
– And then there was Dolly. I had always thought that this had been a pet name following her meeting and marrying Dad – or ‘Ted’. Dolly & Ted has such a lovely ring to it. But no! Apparently this name was as a result of her Aunt Rose thinking she was as lovely as a doll, perhaps the hand of fate found Ted?
– And of course there was Mum.
– So that makes 4 but in the last few days, sorting through what had to be done – I discovered that her name, as far as the Bank is concerned, is Rosemarie!!! Not sure we’ll figure that one out!
Anyway, no matter her name, Mum always took a pride in her appearance. This was never vanity but as a teenager I began to realise this was really only borne from her lack of confidence. She never left the house without taking the time to make herself presentable – but her presentable was my gorgeous.

I have some very important thank you’s to extend;
– first to each of her Carer’s (Carol, Irene, Gladys, Ann Rankin, Reena, June – I couldn’t possibly name you all – but you know she was grateful)
– Dr Dyer, the hospital nurses, doctor’s & auxiliary staff
– The district nurses, especially Jackie Fairley who knew Mum for many years
– I risk not mentioning everyone, but you’ll know who you are
All of you allowed Mum to continue to live at home, surrounded by the people and things she loved. Thank you all.
And thank you to all of you here, for being such wonderful friends. It was all of you that helped to keep her so vital and happy right to the end.

Before I say farewell to Mum on behalf of Eileen and I, I have a message from Mum to Eileen.

My darling daughter. I know in my heart you know this, but as I didn’t say it in the last few days – Caroline will say it for me now.

You were my best friend. I know you put everything on hold for me – putting me before everyone – and this alone gave me many extra years.

You did every conceivable thing I needed, and wanted. Whether it be the numerous medicines I took umpteen times a day, or straightening the blanket at the foot of my bed.

I know you kept vigil over me – right up until the end, and were there beside me when I took God’s hand.
No daughter could possibly have done more for her Mother.

I want you to live your life more now. I know you’ll both take care of Dad, but enjoy every minute you have with Chris and Connor – I have a debt to repay them. Tell ‘Mister’ he made me smile, and tell Connor I was so pleased his wish for me to be home at Christmas came true.

Keep my ring with you – it will bring you love, health and happiness all your days, until we meet again.
Love Mummy xxx

So finally, Mum, you will always be our loving mother. This is only a goodbye to your worldly body. Your love will continue to guide us. We will talk to you every day. We love you our darling mum. Thank you so much for being you.

If the previous eulogies are not quite fitting to your style or your loved one, we leave you with the poem that was read at the Queen Mother’s funeral, as requested by the queen.

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she’s gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she’d want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.